Peter Douglas writes:
1.
The father of one of my fellow pupils was a butcher, and for a physics
class on optics, with prior arrangement with Taffy Newell, he brought a
cow’s eye to school! It was larger than I expected, and, of
course, a horrible object, with shreds of flesh still clinging to the
pale, two-inch orb. We were appalled and fascinated at the same
time, and more so when, with no apparent qualms, Taffy took a knife and
proceeded to dissect the eye. The tough outer wall of the sclera
was split, the vitreous humour spilled, and its innards were revealed.
All the time Taffy lilting voice was casually commenting on what we were
seeing - the muscles that moved the eye, the lens, the retina. I
remember being shocked at the intense blue of the retina as Taffy held
the thing up for us all to see. I wasn’t the only one to skip
supper that day!
2. During another physics class, Taffy was in full spate as usual.
It was something to do with density because I remember asking Taffy
which was heavier, ice or water. His answer embarrassed me,
unnecessarily I thought, and I didn’t like it. Solids are usually
heavier than liquids; it seemed a reasonable question. “Well ice
is lighter that water, of course,” he said. “That’s why it floats!” he
cried. He didn’t say, You idiot, but I got the message.
I felt my face grow hot and red, and I looked daggers at him. He
went on and on about hydrogen bonding and how a certain mass of ice
occupies more space than the same mass of water, or something.
Just as his mouth was open wide to deliver another witty gibe or tedious
fact, there was a faint “clack” and we were surprised to see not the
dark hole of his open mouth but a mass of white. The upper plate
of his dentures had fallen and he had a mouthful of teeth! He
recovered well and made a joke of it, and the accrued tension was
dissipated.
3. It was 1960 and we were doing O Levels in the gym. Taffy
Newell was one of the teachers invigilating, wandering around to see
that we didn’t cheat or talk or anything else inappropriate. After
a time, the sky grew dark and lightning flashed and the roar of thunder
reached us. Taffy looked around and with a too-loud whisper
announced to the anxious gathering: “Sounds like they’re doing GCE up in
heaven!”